Wednesday, March 29, 2017

100 days of meditation that didn't happen

I took the photo below on January 1, the day I started what I hoped would be a 
100 day journey with meditation.  It ended around Day 5.  
I have very bad anxiety, and I was hoping that meditation would be something I could use 
as a tool to stay calm and/or bring myself back to calmness when needed.  
When I was on maternity leave I bought that book, plus a whack of other spiritual 
books in hopes that I would find something to help me.  So far I haven't finished 
any of them.  But with meditation it's the same as it's always been - my mind can't 
focus on being calm and quiet, my inner voice won't be silent and continues its 
never ending negative monologue.  I've put the book to the side, and I hope 
that one day soon I can try again.

What I have accomplished though, since January 1, is practicing yoga every day.
I'm taking 1-3 classes a week, and practicing at home the other days. Some days at 
work I do a quick session if I'm feeling overwhelmed, but that will probably stop 
because I just moved desks and now I have someone sitting to my side and I'm 
not sure I want someone staring at me while I do poses.
Anyhoo, I'm so proud that I've been able to commit to daily yoga every day so far this year.  
My initial plan, like the meditation, was to aim for 100 days, but now I'm planning 
for each day, every day, for all the days.

"Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured."
B. K. S. Iyengar