"There was a diet cola ad that was so in love with itself that it actually recommended going to a special web site that explained how the ad had been made."
"I resent that asking for salt makes me seem aggressive towards the chef, when in fact it's the other way around."
"You always think that a bolt of lightening is going to strike and your parents will magically change into the people you wish they were, or back into the people they used to be. But they're never going to. And even though you know they're never going to, you still hope they will."