Monday, November 14, 2005

The most terrible recipe in the world.

Friends, life cannot be all sunshine and flowers. Sometimes something happens to you that you think you may never recover from.

Such a thing happened to me last night.

While innocently flipping through a cookbook I came across a recipe that struck fear in my heart, and literally made Scott leave the room. It is a recipe that would make grown men cry, and no one hungry.

I give to you...

Penis Stew
by Jennifer Patterson

1 lb of ram or bull penis
3 tb oil
1 onion, chopped
2 garlic cloves, chopped
1 tsp coriander seeds, crushed
1 tomato, chopped
1 tsp cumin seeds, crushed
salt and pepper

Scald the penis** (!!!!!!!!), drain and clean it. Place in a pan, cover with water and bring to the boil. Remove the scum and simmer for 10 minutes. Drain and slice. Heat the oil in a large frying pan and fry the onion garlic and coriander until the onion is golden. Add the penis slices** (!!!!!) and fry on both sides for a few minutes. Stir in the remaining ingredients, add enough water to cover and bring to the boil. Lower the heat, cover and simmer for about 2 hours, until tender. Add a little water from time to time to keep from burning.

(** Two things I never thought I would say. Ever. )

Now I know there are lots of people out there who enjoy organ meat, tripe, sweetbreads, all that sort of stuff, it's called offal. And that's fine by me. Good for you, you are more adventurous than I will ever be. I'm sure it tastes really good.

But seriously, PENIS?

13 comments:

Alicat said...

grrossss!!! :)

linda said...

gacck!

Sarah Lou said...

I am horrified. Imagine requesting this at the butcher shop! Just out of curiousity, from what cookbook and cuisine have you found this ghastly recipe?

it's only fuel said...

Hahahahahaha...O.M.G! Laughing still. Perhaps this can be the threat of dinner when the husband's get out of line:D

Punky said...

LOL. We need to get you some different cookbooks. But, I'm with you. I could pass on the penis stew. But I will run that recipe by my fiance and see what he thinks. Thanks for the laugh.

Sara said...

Scott is still traumatised! It's from Two Fat Ladies Full Throttle.

kitchen hand said...

Interestingly, the one surviving Fat Lady - Clarissa Dickson-Wright - was in the news yesterday defending chef Jamie Oliver's decision to kill a lamb on-screen in his new TV series.

The Two Fat Ladies were my favourite TV chefs - their cooking paid no lip service to modern sensibilities and their banter was hilarious.

Joe said...

Oh my....!

lisaSD said...

Well, perhaps eating penises is what made the two fat ladies fat? Penis is apparently a high-fat food. Hmmmm....

Beth Danae said...

Nasty!

breadchick said...

I liked the "remove the scum" part of this recipe.... MBH told me to not even THINK about buying this cookbook (or the one by Lorraina Bobbit either)

Anonymous said...

hahaha...in the philippines animal penis is sold as SOUP no.5 in chinatown..in chinese restaurants that abound the philippines...it is said to restore vigor and vitality in men kinda like a natural viagra...my freind john says it tastes great.!!!
vennis jean

kittie said...

No, no, no, no, no, no, no...

(Ok, so I know I'm waaaay behind the times with this comment... but I felt compelled to say something...)

No, no, no, no, no, no, no...

(And that was it! Bleurgh.)