When a guy asks to buy you a drink, suggest he buy you a snack instead and see how that goes over.
I'd ask her what she was thinking about, and she'd let out a big sigh. "Oh, sometimes I look around and I think I've seen my mom. But she's not there."
This, the great love affair that spawned me, a woman who would one day get both of her hands stuck in two different salsa jars at the same time.